Top Divorce Sites
      www.topdivorcesites.com

Click Here to schedule a Free initial consultation with an attorney practicing in your state and county

Home | Free Link Exchange

Note from the Editor:

Divorce Tips

"It doesn't really matter whether you are the Plaintiff or Defendant in a Divorce case".  You may have heard this many times.

While it bears some legal truth, the psychological edge is often in favor of the Plaintiff, the spouse who files for divorce first!

So finding a competent divorce attorney early becomes critical to the outcome of your divorce.

While the smart thing to do in divorce is to communicate with your spouse and settle matters early, the reality is that the divorce is a very adversarial process where you become the enemy to your spouse, his or her family and friends.

In reality, close to 50% of marriages end up in divorce.  Also, less than 3% of divorce cases go to trial.  The Family court judges are often overwhelmed by the enormous number of divorce cases that they do whatever it takes to get you and your spouse to resolve your issues yourselves.  You file a divorce petition, or you file a motion, and often the judge send you and your spouse to mediation.

Even if you schedule a divorce trial and you show up bright and early in the morning ready for the final battle, some judges may attempt to "try" your divorce case "without a trial".  They may give a piece of paper to the 2 attorneys indicating what  they believe they would judge before hearing any evidence.

Separation, divorce and child custody proceedings are some of the most stressful and agonizing times in a person's life.

Regional Resources
AL, Alabama
AK, Alaska
AR, Arkansas
AZ, Arizona
CA, California
CO, Colorado
CT, Connecticut
DE, Delaware
DC, District of Columbia
FL, Florida
GA, Georgia
HI, Hawaii
ID, Idaho
IL, Illinois
IN, Indiana
IA, Iowa
KS, Kansas
KY, Kentucky
LA, Louisiana
MD, Maryland
MA, Massachusetts
MI, Michigan
MN, Minnesota
MS, Mississippi
MO, Missouri
MT, Montana
NE, Nebraska
NV, Nevada
NH, New Hampshire
NJ, New Jersey
NM, New Mexico
NY, New York
NC, North Carolina
ND, North Dakota
OH, Ohio
OK Oklahoma
OR, Oregon
PA, Pennsylvania
RI, Rhode Island
SC, South Carolina
SD, South Dakota
TN, Tennessee
TX, Texas
UT, Utah
VT, Vermont
VA, Virginia
WA, Washington
WV, West Virginia
WI, Wisconsin
WY, Wyoming

Add FREE URL Listing | Modify Listing | Search

Add Your Free Listing here
Divorce Lawyers, Child Custody Evaluators, and all other Divorce related Professionals
Click Here
to Add your FREE  URL listing today

Clients
Going through divorce?
Click Here! to schedule a FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION with a Divorce Lawyer

A Word of Welcome

Top Divorce Sites  is the Internet's most concise yet comprehensive divorce resource, offering articles, free divorce tips, ideas and help,  an online community and a nationwide directory of divorce lawyers, mediators and other divorce and divorce-related  professionals.

  We focus on giving our visitors what they need to know without wasting their valuable time.

What does a Divorce Cost?

While this is a very difficult question to answer accurately, average contested divorces often range anywhere from $5,000 to $20,000.

If child custody is involved, the average divorce cost can range from $10,000 to $60,000 and more.

Divorce attorneys often ask for an average retainer of a $5,000 before they take your case and they charge anywhere from $175 to $350 per hour. 

The preceding averages are simply a general order of magnitude that should be used as a general guide only.  Divorce costs largely depend on your location, the experience of the divorce attorney you retain and other factors... most importantly how complicated your individual case is or how complicated your spouse makes it.

Understanding the role of Family Court

A Family Court is a "Court of Equity" presided over by, supposedly, a "well-meaning stranger", the Judge.  The justice system is more "judicial" than "just".

 It is an adversarial system whereby divorce attorneys, while ethically obligated to seek justice, focus more on representing their client and getting them the most.  In Divorce and Child Custody cases, the judge is less concerned with what is "fair", "accurate" and "just", and more interested in getting a "compromise" or a "settlement" where the divorcees get a chance to "win some and lose some" while getting the case wrapped up in under a year from the date of separation, whenever possible.

Child Custody - The Untold Story

In Divorces, where children are involved, child custody often becomes the single most complicated and most expensive part of the divorce.  Remember that Divorce and Child Custody attorneys are not cheap!...

The courts look at child custody and parenting plans from the perspective of what is in the "children's best interest".  As lazy an argument this is, it is the reality of child custody.

So while, initially, child custody may seem to be a straightforward and very easy issue to resolve as in "we can go 50/50, 3/4-3/4, on week with me one week with my ex-spouse), it is often the most contested issue as, inter alia, it involves child support payments for a long time to come...

While laws often claim there is no gender preference in child custody, the reality of the culture is that fathers, with few exceptions, often  get the shorter end of the stick when it comes to spending time with their children.  Mothers often win "residential" custody and they almost always are against giving more that 2 overnights every two weeks to the father.   What many attorneys won't tell you is that overnights are the most critical factor in determining child support payments.

Divorce Glossary

Reading and understanding the following divorce terms may be critical to your case.  Divorce attorneys and Family Court Judges often use them and unless you have an understanding of what they mean, you may be doing great injustice to yourself and your divorce and child custody case.

Adultery: This term refers to sexual intercourse by a married person outside of the marriage. In some areas this may also be grounds for divorce or adversely affect the offender's case.

Alimony: Also called Maintenance or Spousal Support. See Maintenance.  A regular support payment by one divorced spouse to the other

Annulment: A court declaration stating that a legal marriage never existed

Attorney at Law aka Lawyer: A state-licensed advocate who is hired to prepare, manage and try a case in court.

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR): A process of negotiation, mediation and arbitration, in lieu of a trial, as a way to resolve issues pertaining to a judgment of divorce.

Case Information Statement (CIS): A financial document specifying the details of your respective incomes, expenses, assets, and debts.

Certification: An "under oath" certification document signed by the Plaintiff or Defendant giving relevant facts to be considered in Divorce filing, motion or trial.  This is often prepared by the representing attorneys.

Child Support: Money paid by one ex-spouse to another toward their child’s expenses.

Child Support Chart: Method used in some legal jurisdictions to establish a base for determining child support. Takes into account the gross incomes of both parents, less special adjustments (such as support paid for children of previous marriage), and a figure for the amount of money (usually stated as a monthly sum) that will be required to be spent for the child. The court has the authority to deviate from the formula as it deems necessary in each case.

COBRA: a federal law giving an employee and his/her covered dependents or spouse the right to continue group health coverage on a self-paid basis if eligibility for employer-sponsored group medical and dental insurance is lost through loss of employment or through divorce. COBRA eligibility is usually for 18 or 36 months after the event.

Common Law Marriage: A marriage without a license or ceremony in which the couple cohabitated for a minimum number of years (varies from state to state).

COLA: Cost of Living Adjustment.

Contested: Any issue on which the petitioner and respondent cannot agree, which must then be decided by the court.

Custodial Parent: The parent who has physical custody of the child.

Default: Failure to respond in the prescribed manner within a given period of time. The Respondent in a Petition for Dissolution is said to be in default if he or she failed to respond within a set period of time, usually 35 days after the date of service.

Deferred Compensation Package: This includes all retirement assets, such as pension, 401K's, IRA's, and any variety of saving or postponed income which has been earned during the marriage.

Deposition: Part of the discovery or information-exchanging process of a legal proceeding, in which the attorney representing your spouse asks you questions, you answer with your attorney present, and a transcript of the proceedings is prepared.

Docket: The court's calendar schedule.

Discovery: The legal procedures used to gather all the facts necessary to settle a case or to prepare the case for trial. Pretrial disclosure of pertinent facts and documents, including financial figures, by one or both parties.

Dissolution of Marriage (Divorce): The legal separation of a married couple so that each one may be free to marry again.

Divorce: The legal termination of a marriage relationship.

Domestic Violence: Condition where Physical abuse or threats of abuse is occurring between members of the same household.

Emancipation: The point at which children become financially independent, or reach the age of 18 or 21, depending on the wording of a state's laws.

Equitable Distribution: A fair division of the assets acquired during your marriage.  It definitely does not necessarily mean 50/50.

Interrogatories: A formal or written question that must be answered under the direction of the court.

Inventory and Appraisement: A list of jointly-owned property along with the current value of each one.

Joint Legal Custody: An agreement in which a divorced couple share the rights and responsibilities of making major decisions about their child’s life. Situation in which both parents continue to make joint decisions for their child's education, medical care, religious training, camp, and other day to day matters.

Joint Physical Custody: The shared right to have a child live with one or the other parent at different times of the week or year. A situation wherein the child spends time sleeping in both parents' homes.

Judgment of Divorce: A legal document following a settlement or trial that grants a divorce and states the court’s decisions with regard to alimony, support, custody, visitation rights, and equitable distribution.

Maintenance: Also called Alimony or child support payments

Marital Settlement Agreement: An out-of-court agreement that resolves all issues surrounding a divorce.

Mediation: A non-adversarial process in which a dispute is resolved  between two or more parties through discussion and compromise toward agreement with the aid of a neutral party, or Mediator. In Divorce Mediation, the Mediator works with the divorcing spouses.

Motion to Modify: A motion put before the court requesting that changes be made in physical or legal custody, or in child support payments, thus modifying the existing arrangement.

Motions: Written or verbal appeals to the court for some sort of temporary relief, such as maintenance, child support, attorney's fees, etc..

Non-Custodial Parent aka Non-Residential Parent: The parent with whom the child is not physically living.

No-Fault Divorce: A divorce granted with the mutual agreement of two spouses, or when one spouse has left the marriage for a certain period of time (varies by state) .A divorce in which neither party has been accused of or found guilty of any misconduct.

Non-Marital Property : Property that belongs exclusively to either the husband or the wife and, as such, cannot be divided between the two.

Parenting Time aka Visitation:  The right of the non-custodial parent to spend quality time with his or her child.

Pre-Trial Motion aka PDL Motion: pen dente lite (Latin), or pending in the litigation. Any motion filed before the Petition is presented in court. Cannot be filed until at least 30 days after the Respondent is served with notice of intention to divorce. See Motions.

Petition for Dissolution of Marriage: The wording used in some states for the legal Petition for Divorce.

Petitioner aka Plaintiff: he spouse who files for divorce.

QDRO: (Pronounced "kwah-dro"). A Qualified Domestic Relations Order is a court order declaring that one spouse shall be entitled to a portion of the other spouse's pension as a part of the marital assets.

Request for Production aka Notice to produce: Part of the Discovery process in which one attorney asks for the other side to produce documents they deem necessary to the case, such as financial documents.

Respondent aka Defendant: The spouse whom the Petitioner is seeking to divorce.

Retainer: The fee paid to an attorney or other professional for their services, sometimes representing advance payment for anticipated future services.

Restraining order: An order issued by the court requiring a spouse to refrain from doing something like contacting his or her spouse, often issued in conjunction with domestic violence or custody disputes.

Separation: The absence of one spouse from the household before a divorce.

Separation Agreement: A temporary agreement with regard to support, child custody and property for the period between the onset of separation and the granting of a divorce.

Service aka Serving: The act of serving the respondent with legal papers, such as the Notice of Petition for Dissolution or Divorce papers.  These papers are usually presented to the respondent either by mail, or in person by a County Sheriff's Deputy or Process Server.

Subpoena: A legal summons requiring that one appear in court as a witness to give testimony.

Trial: The formal legal process in which the court (judge) receives evidence and testimony to enable him or her to decide in a dispute between two parties.

Uncontested: When all issues have been resolved in a manner acceptable to both parties, the divorce is said to be Uncontested.

Visitation: see Parenting Time.

Divorce Services | Reciprocal Links

 Directory of Divorce Services

US Divorce Laws by state
U.S. Divorce Statistics by State

	Keeping A Child Away From The Other Parent Can Backfire
	Avoid hurting your child and yourself
	Parental Alienation
	Avoid alienating your child from your spouse
	Parenting Plan
	Need a parenting plan?
	Fathers' Rights
	Are the courts biased against fathers?

Relocation of the Residential Parent

General Steps of the Divorce*

• Separation: the date one of the spouses leaves the marital home.

• Legal Separation:  the parties live separately, but remain legally married to one another. A Decree of Legal Separation will cover matters such as child custody, child support, spousal support, division of property, and payment of debts.  If the couple later decides to divorce, they must file a separate action for divorce

• Divorce Complaint: filed by the plaintiff. The defendant is then served by his or her divorce lawyer or by the Sheriffs’ Department.

• Answer or counterclaim: Filed by defendant within 35 days after service of the complaint. If no response is filed by the defendant, a Notice of Default is filed by the plaintiff's attorney or the plaintiff (if self-represented) and a default hearing is scheduled by the court.

• Case Information Statement (CIS): Required to be filed by each party within 20 days after the filing of an Answer or Appearance if the case is contested and custody, support, alimony, or equitable distribution is an issue.

• Notices of Motion: An application to the court for an order to resolve certain issues such as property, support, custody, or shared parenting time. Pendente Lite is a Latin term used to address requests that are made before a formal hearing or final judgment is entered. Motions must be filed 16 days in advance of the hearing date for oral argument. Litigants are permitted to be present during the motion hearing.

• Discovery: Includes the answering of interrogatories, depositions, appraisals and evaluations. It must be completed within 150 days from the filing of the complaint.

• Matrimonial Early Settlement Panel (MESP): After completion of discovery (6 months from the date of filing), the contested financial case should be scheduled for hearing by a MESP. If the case is settled, a divorce will be granted the same day.

• Case Conference with the Judge: A Case Management Conference (discovery scheduling), or Settlement Conference may be scheduled with the Court at anytime. Litigants (parties) must be present with their lawyers.

• Trial Date: If both parties cannot settle case, a trial date is assigned to allow both parties to give testimony before a judge makes a decision on the issues.

• Final Judgment of Divorce (JOD): A judgment granting the divorce and stating the settlement terms of all issues pertaining to the dissolution of the marriage is submitted to the Court for signature by a Family Division Judge.

General Grounds or Legal Reasons for Divorce*

"No-fault" grounds for divorce*

• incompatibility
• living separate and apart without cohabitation for one year

"Fault" grounds for divorce*

• another spouse or spouses living at the time of marriage (bigamy or polygamy)
• willful absence of a spouse from the marital home for one year
• adultery
• extreme cruelty (defined as "acts or conduct calculated to destroy the peace of mind and happiness of one of the parties to the marriage")
• fraudulent contract (i.e. a party was induced to enter the marriage as a result of a fraudulent representation that materially affects the essential elements of the marriage;
• gross neglect of duty (i.e. acts that constitute an omission to perform a legal duty, such as a failure to support the family);
• habitual drunkenness;
• imprisonment of the adverse party in a state or federal institution at the time of the filing of the complaint; and
• an out-of-state divorce.

*Vary from state to state - Use as a general guide

General Guide to Divorce-Related Services

• Divorce Lawyers aka Divorce Attorneys
• Child Custody Evaluators
• Family Counselors aka Marriage Counselors
• Separation and Support Groups
• Child Care Facilities
• Mediators
• Pension Appraisers
• Real Estate Appraisers
• Real Estate Lawyers
• Seminars and Workshops
• Tax Consultants
• Dating
• Divorce Media

General Guide to Child Custody Evaluation

• Initiating The Parenting Evaluation
• Parenting History Survey (PHS or ASPECT or both)
• The more relevant supporting documentation you bring, the better
• Clinical Interview
• Psychological Testing (MMPI)
• Parent/Child Play Session (sometimes at the parent's home)
• Collateral Contacts
• Follow-up Interviews